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Another year crumbles, but no regrets July 27, 2009

Posted by paulstella in Uncategorized.

As much as I look forward to summer, the one thing about it I care little for is turning another year older. So this year, since Mother Nature has denied us summer so far, any chance Father Time might forfeit my birthday? Yeah, I didn’t think so. And as the weather pattern slowly begins to change, it now appears that both are inevitable.

OneGiantCandleBDYesterday, I attended a birthday gathering for my friend Jon. A relatively young pup at 33, I greeted him with a handshake, and he wishes me a happy birthday. “No, no,” I said. “I’m not there yet. This is all you.”

Truth is though I’d already been thinking about it, trying to get my head around a new number on its way—45. I’ll be owning it soon—perhaps an opportunity to collect more gift bags. Trust me though, I’m not whining. I’m just increasingly sensitive to how the march of time affects us all. That is what’s compelling me to scratch out some thoughts about it.

Later this week, I’ll meet up with my sister Kathy for our annual birthday lunch. Only a few days separate our birthdays, so it’s nice to celebrate (read ‘commiserate’) together. Inevitable, we’ll look at each other from across the table, and one of us will say something to the effect of, “Well, that year sure went fast.” They always do.

For me, there’s something about this one, 45, that’s really ringing in my head. Maybe it’s because it falls on the same year that my father celebrated turning 90. I’m half way there!

What I feel is what I hear others suggest about certain birthdays—that its just seems weird. We all ‘know’ we’re destined to get older—we even plan for it—but we just never really ‘feel’ like it’s going to happen. I think that’s where I’ve been at and it’s getting harder to deny.

So what is it? What’s the big hurdle that I suspect many folks share with me about birthdays? It’s not the inevitable physical changes. Sure I do what I can to slow the impact, but that doesn’t really bother me.

I think what may weigh on me the most is the passing from one era to the next. The threshold is vague, but I feel the passing in how I choose to live my life. With it come questions about whether I took full advantage of the era I leave behind. What were the opportunities missed? What are the opportunities I may be letting slip past?

Regret is a dangerous thing, and I hope I’m doing everything in my power to live free of it. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with an innate ability to stay positive, and I’m really excited about the opportunities that lie ahead. Of course, I don’t necessarily know what they are yet, but that’s what makes them exciting, right? I’m just ready to let fate do its thing.

And, hey, it even sounds like there might be more typical summer weather on the horizon. Now there’s something I can get excited about.



1. Kathy - July 28, 2009

You shouldn’t feel old at 45 its the new”30″.
Remember you have a nephew who’s 43 and a niece who’s 41.
You are all still kids and carry the Stella longevity gene.

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